One of the wonderful aspects of the biology of women is that they have clear signals of an entrance into womanhood (menarche) and the end of being a birthing mother and opening the door leading to grandmotherhood (menopause). Male biology has no such events, the transition from boy to man to grandfather it is a more gradual process that, in today’s world, is often unobserved, unguided, and unappreciated. In a land of perpetually immature or even feminized men, the idea of transitioning from each stage of life is not valued as an important aspect of masculinity. In fact, some groups have created distorted rites of passage, such as vandalism, theft, excessive drinking, and violence, in an attempt to recover some type of doorway that represents a passage through life stages. Without direction, boys do not become men or they do succeed, but it requires decades to cobble together some kind of maturation given that we are embedded within an culture that prioritizes self over the collective, privileges over responsibilities, and humans over the earth.
Rites of passage are used in virtually every culture to mark important transitions from one life stage to another. The United States has several that it still entertains, including graduations, weddings, baby showers, and retirement parties. However, these rites of passage are different than many indigenous ceremonies—specifically, they lack certain aspects that make the rites of passage themselves a test of the person’s character, resolve, and/or maturation. In fact, most American rites of passage are now fun celebrations where the guests of honor amass more material wealth (which is not to write this isn’t useful in some situations, like a young expecting couple who could use help from their community to prepare for an upcoming birth). However, we are so averse to any discomfort that meaningful tests have been stripped from most of our contemporary ceremonies. This means that the rite of passage has now lost value because it is not a test for the person. There is nothing to overcome. The initiation is just marking the day with gifts, and the initiate has nothing to achieve that creates a sense of accomplishment. There is no ordeal, no suffering, no completion. While you may think this is well and good, the transition from boy to man needs something more than gift cards to Best Buy, otherwise the boy never becomes a man.
In many cultures, the rite of passage marking the transition from boyhood to manhood involved pain. This was considered important because the boy needed to die (figuratively) to allow the man to emerge. If the boy does not die, it lives on in the adult body, stalling the maturation of the man and creating another selfish male. However, a boy who has successfully survived the rite of passage in the presence of their community, their mentors, and their elders carries a sense of accomplishment and wishes to act in a way that does dishonor the ceremony (or those who observed it). The rite of passage asks something of the person and speaks to the initiate in a way that a pile of gifts never will. This is not a call for ceremonies that scar the individual for life, but one that suggests without some discomfort (which could be exhaustion from summiting a mountain, cold from immersion in a mountain stream, fatigue from tending a fire through the night, etc.), the rite of passage fails to truly convey how important this life stage actually is. If we truly want to see character development in the male, then the rite of passage must touch of the spirit of the initiate.
To reclaim this vital aspect of human ceremony, the hunter-gatherer apprenticeships at Wilder Waters will now offer, for those who seek them, rites of passage as an alternative focus during the moon-long stay. While my focus as a mentor will be males and use a sacred hunt (among other tasks) as the doorway into manhood, there are opportunities for females (led by women) to also experience a rite of passage. If you already hunt and believe this experience wouldn’t offer you anything, please think again. What most have learned about hunting from this relatively superficial civilization falls far short of a hallowed experience. Further, while the activity may occur in a wild area, there is still a pronounced degree of separation from nature that is manifested during the modern hunt. For the rites of passage conducted here, there will be the three stages of ceremony—separation, liminality, and incorporation—which will be witnessed by people who understand the value of these rituals and can support the initiate during their time in trial. These experiences will be tailored to the individuals and provide an appropriate amount of challenge and risk. If this is a missing piece of your life, consider allowing us to craft a rite of passage for you. Visit https://www.arthurhaines.com/huntergatherer-apprenticeship for more information.